I still tear up every single time I hear “The Feel Again.”

The single released around the time my parents decided to split up. One day, my dad and I were driving around and I had The Feel Again playing, and he looked at me on the verge of tears. I have never, ever seen him more moved by a song; the lost look in his eyes absolutely tore my heart apart. Every time the song comes on in the car, he looks straight at me whenever Justin says, “Just look into those big brown eyes, and you’d just fall apart.”

Whenever my parents separated, it was only for a short time. It was last summer. My parents have been through so much throughout their marriage, from having a child leave, the adoption of my brother, my mother’s suicide attempt, along with financial difficulty early on in their relationship. My parents are also very close. The thing is, my dad and I are exactly alike; we crave physical affection and we are very loving, touchy people. My mom is the exact opposite. I have no doubt that my mom loves my dad; I do know that my dad loves my mom more, however.

My parents had a very big issue during the separation with me. They felt awful because they felt as if they were tearing me apart. I had fallen into the depression that I fall into so often and the separation did not help at all. I was very sad and they both knew that. I know that they did not “stay together for the kids,” but because they love each other (they are still together, and as far as I know, they are happy). However, I also know that one of the hardest things for them was watching me fall apart, and I feel awful for that.

So yes, I tear up every time I hear The Feel Again. My heart breaks each time my dad looks towards me during that line, or each time my mom refers to me as “big brown eyes” due to that specific lyric. It is, to me, one of their most powerful songs, and I love it so much.